Thursday, March 3, 2016

MMMMM CLUNKY!


I just got to bring this up. CLUNK. When I was in my teens, most of my brain was filled to the brim with D&D and CLUNK. Tables CLUNK, THACO CLUNK, monster stats CLUNK, class stats CLUNK, weapon stats CLUNK, how many feet a warrior can move in a round CLUNK, saving throws CLUNK, kinds of traps CLUNK, regents CLUNK, you name it CLUNK. I stopped playing for a while, a long while, and when I got back to it I was quite quite older. I had no time, no patience, no space or no will for CLUNK (please refer to my “Too old for this SH**? post, which is CLUNK in video games).

Is that the reason why I went to such games as Risus, Fudge, Donjon, The Pool and The Window (all highly recommended)? You bet your +2 tush it is! I am over 45 years old, I got no time (or space in my brain) for CLUNK, not at all.

Yesterday I had the honor of finally trying out both Tabletop Simulator (oh yeah that thing is BETTER than Tabletop because you don’t have to see the weirdos you are playing with- like looking in a funhouse mirror) and Fifth Edition. I had fun, I had a ball, and played the spell out of an elven wizard. But damn there it was, even after five editions- THE CLUNK! CLUNK to move five spaces, CLUNK to change a weapon, CLUNKY back and forth combat, where a fight with Kobolds took 2 hours. Dammit, I want a system that decides it all EVERYTHING in one roll, like God! The closest that has come to that is Fudge. They even CLUNKED that and called it FATE.


 Did I just rant? I feel better so I think I just had a rant. Yep, definitely a rant.